I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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