Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
of course. lets lasso hookers.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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