I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
