Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
