Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Someone shit on the floor
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
