I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
