The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
