you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't EVER smell your tampon
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The ass gains better be worth it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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