I'm jealous of your bromance
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
