A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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