Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
