You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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