Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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