thus making me awesome and them whores
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
