I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
