How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
