Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
