as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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