You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
