Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
