I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
