no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
