nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
