question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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