I accidentally had phone sex last night
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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