dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
