there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
