if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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