he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
