some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
