sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
