I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
