he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
