Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
