Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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