hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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