Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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