no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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