You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
