I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
