i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
