I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
