Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
