at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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