Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
