Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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