They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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