Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
