do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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