I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My bed smells like the plague
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
