Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
