can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
