Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
